Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
