hotel room ftw
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
