she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
