how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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