This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
