the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
