i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
