Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
