ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
