Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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