you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
