Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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