i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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