I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My dick has a subreddit
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
