i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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