I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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