either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
