He had one of those small greek statue penises
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
