Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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