You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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