She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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