no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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