I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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