the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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