Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
