Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
