So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
