I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
