shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Drake has all the answers
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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