that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
