I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
