Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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