You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
