Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
