well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
