By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
