He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
