Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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