i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
