proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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