No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
