She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
