I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
