Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
