Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
