What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
