The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
