I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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