these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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