He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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