I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
