you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
